Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
