so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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