I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
