but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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