whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
