We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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