are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
