Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
