We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
