Don't make out with my wife yet
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
