your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Be still, my beating vagina.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
