guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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