i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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