I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
