Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
