He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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