Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
