one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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