I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
