whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
