i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
