how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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