Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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