Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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