I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
