i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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