I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I cannot find my penis.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
