I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
