thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
