is your mom at the bar?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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