I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
