WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
