so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
