Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
