i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just tell him i said nine months
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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