I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
