you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
