Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
