We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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