yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
