haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
