i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
