OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
