I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
