That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
