proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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