My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
