First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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