Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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