she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
